some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
