I am in a vortex of obligation.
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Randomize
