I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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