I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Randomize
