I just made out with a guy for $7.
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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