so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
