It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Randomize
