Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Randomize
