they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Randomize