News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Randomize
