So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Randomize