It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
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