Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
