He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
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