How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
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