Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
Randomize