I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize
