she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Randomize
