What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
