physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Randomize
