please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
