just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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