i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
I accidentally burped into my bong.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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