Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
