how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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