He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
