Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
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