I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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