Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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