I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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