Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
I will be naked everywhere
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
