somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Randomize
