Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
