Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
