By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
