It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Randomize
