party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
