The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
