he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
