they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
I didn't notice because vodka
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
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