i barfeds in our rink
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
