I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
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