she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Randomize
