Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
