Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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