Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize