and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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