Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
