If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
Randomize
