You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
