if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize