Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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