You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
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