I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Randomize
