Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
