Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Randomize
