Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize