Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
