im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
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