I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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