I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
Randomize
