well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
I did not marry a roomba.
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